Exhibit A: Group Identity and the Gaming Table

As the new year opened up, I found myself at the Montrose Bible Conference in Montrose, Pennsylvania for a young adults retreat. While the facilities there have been used in some form or another for decades now, this was their first retreat targeted to this demographic and the first time I had ever been to that particular point of Pennsylvania. Naturally, this meant that as my wife and I took our bags to the room, we were both looking forward to the collection of slightly awkward moments that accompany meeting a roomful of strangers moments before you are going to tell them about what you feel is God’s will for their lives.

People began to enter the hall. Small talk was shared. A few guys were off in the corner by themselves. They were all milling about the same space, but there really wasn’t anything tying them together. Every one of us could have left the room and our presence wouldn’t be missed.

Until the games started coming out.

We played a party game called Say Anything – a light game that combines coming up with crazy answers to common questions and trying to guess whose response the judge will pick as the winner. In a few short rounds, the group dynamic shifted. Instead of being a collection of locals, travelers, and speakers that happened to be in the same place before the retreat started, we were the people who knew the power of bad 80’s movies, invoked the name of Duff, and marveled over Tom Cruise’s symmetrical tooth. We had become a group.

The next day I spoke from the Old Testament before talking about the ministry. I spoke of Oholiab and Bezalel, men placed in charge of building the Tabernacle, where God lived among His people. With every mention to something that happened in that first game of the retreat, laughs were lifted and shoulders nudged neighbors.

It is important to establish your group’s identity. While there will always be a place for big ticket events that bring a lot of people into the doors – these events only serve to lay the foundation of a group identity. They are a concrete slab upon which a spectacular structure can be built. A group that meets with regularity, having generally the same people involved each time, weaves a shared history that will both increase the gaming experience at the table, as well as encourage trust between the players.